Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
false alarm. still invincible.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
