trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
