Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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