I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
