just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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