Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize