all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
