i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
whose parrot is this?
I have aggressive nipples.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
