I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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