we have pet lesbian snakes
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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