He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever