You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis