Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
