My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize