So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
