she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
