maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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