Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
