so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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