those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
