how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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