lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
