Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
