officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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