I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
