I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So. Much. Porn.
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