Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
