my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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