no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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