Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
