my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
handjob tips. give me some.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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