And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
whose ass print is on the piano?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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