Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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