This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
