So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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