The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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