And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
