Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
