we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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