it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
