tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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