You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future