Only a mothe r could love this liver
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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