i will never coherently bang her
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
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She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize