As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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