Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
