I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
