She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
