There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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