I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We left the knife in your bed.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
