This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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