i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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