i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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