I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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