I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize